11.11.2007

5 things...

thing 1: i keep seeing images from the 11 o'clock news of the birds being pulled from the SF bay after the oil spill (their feathers slicked and heavy). ugh and then more: ugh.

thing 2: the poets & editors, keith & rosmarie waldrop, read at the de young museum on friday night. it was super. rosmarie's blend of sensual and intellectual language was transforming. and keith was delightful. his last prose/ poem was about a cat and about so much more than a cat and d and i talked about the cat for a good long time after the reading. but rosmarie really tugged on my heartstrings: super.

thing 3: i'm in this place in my work life where i'm not sure how best to move forward. but i know i have to move forward. and i've decided the only way i can keep moving forward is to admit i don't know what i'm doing. ("i don't have any idea what i'm doing". there, i said it!) for the past 10 years i've been writing poems, making art & craft, and working in non-profit arts offices. now i want to publish, show art, sell crafts, and make a transition to depending on my own inner knowledge. my "skill set". and i have no idea what i'm doing, including the challenge of continuing through the awkward steps of this brand new blog. and i know i'm not the only person who feels this way. but still i have to say it: i don't know what i'm doing.

thing 4: d and i had a good long chat about "truth" vs. "fiction" of online identities. the constructed selves meshing w/ the "revealed" selves or the memoir alongside the faux memoir. (stay tuned for d's next theater-meets-online creation in 2008.) our chat made me want to keep pushing at that: revealing vs. construction. and the attempt to try to reach beyond myself even when sometimes the only way it seems possible to do that is to reach deeper in.

thing 5: today i locked my entire bag in the car including my cell phone, my keys, and my wallet. damn! and what a shocking moment when the door closed and it was just me and my coat on the outside and all the insides of the bag on the inside! random information but it was quite a shocker: oops.

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