A Studio Visit and that Little Ball of Felt

(The latest issue of REFUELED launched earlier this week and this photograph is included. I'm honored to join Chris Brown and Cheryl Shulke for the third issue of this *gorgeous* publication. Go take a peek...)

Now then... snuggle in with a cup of tea, this post is a long one.

Friends, I've had a good week. I was notified on Tuesday that I was a finalist for a local art show, "Bay Area Currents 2009". The show is being hosted by two Oakland galleries and a San Francisco curator. I submitted a batch of photos a few weeks ago and got the phone call on this Tuesday. I couldn't believe it-- I'm a finalist! This doesn't mean I've made it into the final exhibition but this does mean that I was one of the 26 artists to receive a studio visit from the curator. My goodness, I was so nervous I wasn't sure what to do with myself.

So, the studio visit was this morning!

Bright and early at 9am before I went to work. The studio was clean, the photographs were neatly laid out in stacks on my work table, I had a few handmade objects placed around the walls of the room, some work in-progress resting on my desk next to my computer. The studio was all dressed up and ready for her big date! So I sat at the kitchen table, drinking my tea, eating my yogurt, taking deep breaths, glancing up at my sweetie who was lovingly trying to distract me from my nervousness with other conversation. Gosh, it felt like I sat there for several hours but it was only really about 20 minutes.

And then the curator came.

And then we went into my studio.

And then he quietly observed the work. And then we talked about the work. And then we talked more about the work. And then he made some great suggestions about the size of the photographs, the way they were framed, and the conflict of analog vs. digital. And then I talked about urban environmentalism, experimental nature photography, the size of the photographs, the way they were framed, and the conflict of analog vs. digital. And we laughed a little. And we agreed a little. And we disagreed a little. And it was all very lovely, in fact. My goodness, what a relief!

And so... now I wait again.

I wait to see if I'm selected as one of the final 7 artists to be shown in the exhibition. I wait to see if they want to include my photos, if they want more of them, less of them, bigger prints, different frames, or if they want to work with someone else. But you know what? It felt so amazing that I realized the benefits were not just about getting in the show or not getting in the show. (Of course, it would be nice!) But the benefits are about putting the work out there. Giving it a chance. And *amazingly* being selected for this round of 26.

And it was also about finding that little ball of confidence that rolls around in the back of my belly-- that little pretty felt ball that pushes up against my lungs from time to time, nudging from the center. It's quiet. It's careful. It's cautious sometimes too. But it's nice to notice it when it comes. (Hello little ball, I see you there.) And ultimately, I feel grateful for the opportunity to create the work.

To consider the world through the work.

To grapple with the thoughts and feelings and sensibilities in the work.

And to have the excitement to continue making new work.

Again, I come back to my friend's two little words: Be Brave! Maybe that little felt ball is also courage. And maybe we are sometimes led from the very bottom of our lungs, from the nudging up against our soft organs, from the feeling that reminds us we are full of possibility, opportunity, bravery, and courageous acts that tug us into the future.

Just maybe.

Strawberry Fields (Forever).

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Happy Monday, friends. I've been tucked away in my studio most of the weekend. Working on this new handmade book has me crossing my eyes for hours at a time! It's my first attempt at meshing my photography & Photoshop techniques with my bookbinding & hand sewing techniques. While it's going pretty swell, I've forgotten how much designing and redesigning it takes to make all the pieces fit together. Alas, my eyes have crossed.

I did manage to take a road trip down the coast on Sunday. We packed up the truck and headed towards the most amazing organic strawberry farm. Swanton BerryFarm is just north of Santa Cruz, right on Route 1 overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It's organic, it's gigantic, and it has the "u-pick" option too. This time we only piled up eleven pounds of strawberries versus last year's fourteen and fifteen pounds the year before that. So many strawberries!

Needless to say, we have surrendered our kitchen to the delightful mess of making homemade jam. The end result? Four batches: Strawberry-rhubarb, strawberry-raspberry, strawberry-strawberry, and also plum. The plum was an extra bonus. We've been reading about urban homesteading and urban foraging and we just couldn't resist the landlord's forgotten plum tree in the far corner of the yard.

And now: A fine little line of canned red jam dots the top of the bookshelf in the kitchen; they behave quite nicely standing up straight as they start to cool; waiting patiently to receive their little jam labels later in the week, once my eyes have stopped crisscrossing.

xoxo, k.

A Bit of Good News

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Good news! I've been awarded an individual artist grant from The Puffin Foundation! They've accepted my proposal and will generously support a fashion photo shoot, directed by yours truly, in the late summer/ early fall 2009. Eep! I'm tickled.

I'll be creating a simulated "high-fashion photo shoot" with live models in the dresses from The Dresses/ Objects Project. In preparation, I'll build a customized seamless backdrop, find myself some willing models, and scout out a lovely outdoor setting along the coast. I pitched the idea as phase two of a three-phase project, realizing that this phase will position me towards an installation at the end. Indeed, they agreed to help me complete this phase. Eep, eep!

I can't wait to stage this photo shoot, I'm off to tear favorite fashion images out of glossy magazines for inspiration. Thank you, The Puffin Foundation! I'm thrilled.

Be Brave: Sun tea, herbs, and a summertime garden.

1. Peering into the potatoes.

2. Ladybug visits the chamomile.

3. A gardener and his goods.

4. Chamomile, high in the sky.

5. Just a little radish.

6. As the sage grows.

7. Garden guests & plant identification.

8. Butterflies and potato leaves in the afternoon sun.

9. A little something, from me to you.

Hello friends. I'm bursting at the seams with sun-filled magic at the onset of hot summery days. So much growing in the garden and in the studio. I wanted to share these two things:

1. SUN TEA & MY MOTHER-- We made a batch of sun tea this weekend and I was instantly transported to 25 years ago: My mother in a sleeveless, flowery sundress that hung just below her knees; rural, western New York state, about 95 degrees, the air was humid and sticky and thick; dogs and kids scurrying around my mother's feet, chickens in the backyard, the garden bursting with tomatoes and cucumbers and squash; my mother carried a huge glass pitcher out the front door, opened the screen to the porch with her barefoot, walked quickly across the hot stones and set the huge pitcher of light brown water onto the picnic table directly in the sun. This weekend I realized: The magical powers of sun-brewed black tea are possibly divine.

2. BE BRAVE: I submitted my photos to an exhibition on Friday. I debated for a few hours and then my decision came down to two words in an email from a friend: Be brave. I think I'll make myself a little sign with those two words and tack it over my desk. Those two little words, "Be brave" just completely sealed the deal. Photos selected, application completed, and I hit "send". Sometimes I just need a little loving nudge to help me through my last minute jitters.

Peace to you, dear friends, it's summertime here in Oakland and the bulging garden certainly proves it. Sun-kissed wishes to you... xoxo, k.

Yellow, Pink, Brown, and Dusk.

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I have a new color palette this week: Instead of blue skies I'm saturated with mustard yellows, palest pinks, dusty browns, and the low-light of dusk. It's so exciting when the palette shifts and suddenly the entire world of artmaking is new again. Amazing, right? The effect of color?

I took over 200 photos this weekend (!!!) and I'm slowly editing through and reflecting on all the weekend's themes: moody sunsets, heaps of laundry, tangles of jewelry, delightful garden guests, a big red plastic ball, and a long hike to the seashore. I think this little batch of photos tells a story about the weekend that I quite like. Funny-- that girl was not in that field with those flowers and that horse wasn't a guest in our garden, but somehow this made-up world makes more sense. I love when that happens--when we get to pick the various parts and make-up a new story instead.

Is it just me, or is the month of May already remarkably busy? I am currently challenging myself with 3 art applications due in 3 weeks and one group show in June that has inspired a new handmade book. The dreamy days of our honeymoon have given way to a buzzing month of May and it's making quite a lovely mess of my studio, indeed. (I'll show you photos of the new book when it's further along, right now it's a series of ribbons, grommets, book board, and tiny deer antlers). In the meantime, a few rosy-colored photos and made-up stories to start the week.

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Take My Hand or Dance With Me in the Desert, Dusty.

My dear friends: Dance with me in the desert, dusty! This is my last planned photo shoot of our honeymoon trip to the far reaches of the NM desert. Oh, I hope you enjoy. I think I saved the best for last, I'm curious to see if you agree.

My sweetie and I have a tradition of photo shoots on long windy roads on long windy road trips. We created our first series in 2002 on our 4-month road trip from CA to NY. And we did it again when we drove back from NY to CA in 2005. We've also managed to set-up a handful of photo shoots on shorter road trips around the NE and SW and West Coast. (And a few more I'm skipping on trips to Hawaii, France, England, Zimbabwe, Puerto Rico, and Mexico. I admit it, we're hooked!) It's a tradition, at this point. Something about the expanse of sky. The lack of traffic. The opportunity to set a tripod in the middle of the road and dance away.

*Thank you* for indulging me with your love and good wishes through our wedding planning and honeymoon process. I can safely say, I've never had such a romantic spring in my 32 years of being. It was as if all the daffodils and tulips bloomed around me all at once. All of April was daffodils and tulips and poppies blooming, wherever we went. Even in the desert, the cactus were blooming against that brilliant blue sky as if to whisper, "Dance with me in the desert, dusty". And so we did.