Someone very dear to me lost someone very dear to her and I am reminded of the circles of grief. The family. The friends. And then the friends of friends. And how so many people feel that cool weight coil heavy around unexpected shoulders. How the stones pile in the belly and there is an extra weight that can be recognized in nearly every movement. Eating is heavy. Walking is heavy. Climbing the stairs is heavier than it was just the day before. I keep thinking of her and feeling that serpent on the shoulders and also the stones in the belly and wishing that there was just about anything I could do to make it feel lighter. Oh. Grief. You.
My little one is sick. Feverish. We are assured from our doctors that, "Everything is going to be okay," and I'm quite certain that it will be. But when an infant rests his fevered head against your chest and refuses his favorite toys and his favorite songs, well, there is not much the heart can do but pull that tiny fevered body closer and sway and soothe and sway. It makes the days very, very long.
There are other details of "A Very Bad Week" but I am going to stop at these. I am hoping that by next week I will be fixated on the pleasant mundane details of a studio life that include such things as keeping vintage paper from ripping in the teeth of my sewing machine, folding and pressing quilt binding to cover seams, and choosing ink colors for linoleum block prints. Perhaps a blue whale print. Maybe a yellow.