5.29.2012

Thank the Farmers for Iris and Cosmos






Oh, sweet friends. I had hoped to share some new projects this week but they are still in-process and not yet ready to be shared. I must admit--last week was something of a train wreck. The flower booth at the farmer's market boasting, "5 bunches for $10 dollars, really!" was most certainly the highlight in my week. Iris. And cosmos. And more iris.

Someone very dear to me lost someone very dear to her and I am reminded of the circles of grief. The family. The friends. And then the friends of friends. And how so many people feel that cool weight coil heavy around unexpected shoulders. How the stones pile in the belly and there is an extra weight that can be recognized in nearly every movement. Eating is heavy. Walking is heavy. Climbing the stairs is heavier than it was just the day before. I keep thinking of her and feeling that serpent on the shoulders and also the stones in the belly and wishing that there was just about anything I could do to make it feel lighter. Oh. Grief. You.

My little one is sick. Feverish. We are assured from our doctors that, "Everything is going to be okay," and I'm quite certain that it will be. But when an infant rests his fevered head against your chest and refuses his favorite toys and his favorite songs, well, there is not much the heart can do but pull that tiny fevered body closer and sway and soothe and sway. It makes the days very, very long.

There are other details of "A Very Bad Week" but I am going to stop at these. I am hoping that by next week I will be fixated on the pleasant mundane details of a studio life that include such things as keeping vintage paper from ripping in the teeth of my sewing machine, folding and pressing quilt binding to cover seams, and choosing ink colors for linoleum block prints. Perhaps a blue whale print. Maybe a yellow.

xoxo,
k.

5 comments:

  1. What a week for you. I'm glad you have the small pleasures of your beautiful flowers. Our own irises have suddenly opened and the cosmos seedlings are thriving. Now I look forward even more to their flowering. I do hope your boy recovers quickly (that impotence in the face of their illness is hard to bear) and your friend finds a way through.

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  2. having just heard about the passing of someone yesterday the grief thing is quite present in my mind right now.

    and little sick ones. yes. almost nothing worse. really. poor m. and poor you....

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  3. My heart is heavy for you and for your friend and for poor feverish little one. I hope you can soak in the love I am sending until things start looking and feeling up.

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  4. kate: thank you for your kind words. i like you said, "your friend finds a way through". perfectly put.

    lisa: ugh, grief. it is the heaviest and strangest of things. and sick little ones are intense. this was our first time. thank you for your kind words, friend. he is better now.

    kj: thank you, dear you. sick kids are no fun, are they? and grief. and thank you for your emails. always, thank you for your emails.

    shauna: i love you too, dear friend.

    friends: thank you for your kind words. for your tenderness. for letting me post about whatever might come up in my week. for making space here.

    xoxo,
    k

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Thank you for your comments, friends. I like to think we are creating a dialogue in this space--building a virtual community.