Timeout: 10 Minutes to Stop Instead
I think this time in my life is about learning how to really say, "Stop". Even if that stop is just about stopping for 10 minutes so I can sit quietly or even silently at my kitchen table with a day-old pastry and a cup of hot tea. And even if that pastry is slightly stale and the tea is slightly too hot and none of that really matters because what matters is that I have the house entirely to myself for a few minutes of total silence and I can walk away from my studio and desk and stacking deadlines and just sit there with my tea and watch the steam curl up for the leaves of the fresh flowers on the kitchen table.
Yes. I think this is my lesson right now. Along with accepting the messy parts and the misaligned and, as I declared in my recent Motherhood Manifesto, that there is no balance out there looming on the horizon so we need to embrace our messy, heaving, lopsided lives right this very moment. So I am trying to practice what I preach. Leaning in with my own messy, heaving, lopsided life.
And sometimes I can say that and nod my head and then turn right around and do the opposite. Plan too many dates. Accept too many work offers. Stay up too late and wake up still feeling depleted. Even if that staying up too late was to watch a movie with my sweet husband and even if the movie was actually a really good movie in a finally quiet house after the little one was finally asleep.
Even if. Because, you see, the thing is that even if the work in my studio is very exciting work (and even if it's torture that I can't tell you anything about it quite yet) and even if I adore my friends and feel endless gratitude for their place in my life and even if my sweet husband is the absolute partner I want by my side--I still need to hit "stop". And be completely alone. With my thoughts. With my thinking. With my steaming slightly too hot tea. And yesterday's pastry.
And so today I had planned on telling you about the amazing art opening of my dear friend, Lisa Solomon, and her new gallery show Sen that opened on Friday night in San Francisco. And I had planned to tell you about all the amazing people who were there and all the powerful conversations that ensued. And then I wanted to tell you about the wonderful new craft fair West Coast Craft that happened in San Francisco this weekend and how inspired I was by the talented makers. And even show you the few goods that I couldn't leave without. Or tell you that I finally saw the documentary The Artist is Present about Marina Abramovic and her show at the MOMA and I can't stop thinking about it.
But the thing is--I took an extra 10 minutes and sat staring at the steam rising from my tea mug before plunging into my deadlines. And then I took photographs of that tea and stale pastry and of this weekend's farmer's market flowers bursting off in all directions with white, yellow, and then green. And I decided this was the most important thing to share with you about my week. This need to not just slow down because sometimes we can't slow down but sometimes, for just a few minutes, we need to actually stop. I needed to stop. And sit. Still. Maybe, just because it feels right.
So, happy Monday, you beautiful humans. I hope you can take a few minutes to actually and completely stop. And I'll see you here next week.